Writing down my "not so great" eating habits will help me realize that they are just that--eating habits and not excuses to say "BLOW IT!", you can't be perfect, may as well binge....
-Finishing bites off my boys' plates. This is "normal" and okay and is in no reason a reason to stray and binge
-Eat popcorn. Just because this has been a "binge food" in the past doesn't a bite of it means I need to eat the whole bag and then some. "NORMAL EATING" includes bites here and there and not meaning anything.
-Eating a little chocolate after dinner. Or what I feel like instead of what I had planned in my head.
-Eating something someone drops off or brings over. This may not be in my head's "plan" but it's "NORMAL" to have some.
I haven’t
been uncomfortably full in 8 and 1/2 years, nor would I have any desire
to be. But, have I been full after a nice dinner at a restaurant?
Absolutely. Have I eaten a dessert even after I was satisfied from my
meal, simply because it was delicious? Yes! Have I been physically
satisfied, yet chosen to have a few more bites of a favorite dish? Yep!
Have I been offered a snack when not physically hungry, and ate it
anyway, just to be social or because it looked good? Yep! On the flip
side, have I not eaten enough in a day because I was so busy, or hadn’t
gone to the grocery, or because I didn’t have as much of an appetite?
Certainly.
Friday, May 22, 2015
My answer from Heavenly Father came in the form of the book Bulimia Help Method and Brain Over Binge. It's all about the food, not about the emotions. Just about the habit.
I'm recommitting now to recovery forever and to abolish any bad habits.
It's scary. It's the same lessons from when I was in the Center for Change. 6 small meals/day. That doesn't sound at all appealing from my standpoint but I think it will help get me back on track with recovery.
I'm recommitting now to recovery forever and to abolish any bad habits.
It's scary. It's the same lessons from when I was in the Center for Change. 6 small meals/day. That doesn't sound at all appealing from my standpoint but I think it will help get me back on track with recovery.
Tuesday, May 19, 2015
learning from failures
Last night I binged like I haven't binged in a long time.
Without letting the negative feed my thoughts, I'll still write down the thoughts that went through my head so as to try and change them.
"You eat so well all day, this feels good to let-loose."
"You can always make up for this tomorrow."
"You've blown it already, seriously what's another ice cream sandwich?"
"Now that you've gone this far, just eat everything in the cupboards and fast tomorrow."
"Sid is gone, the kids are in bed, you are lonely and you deserve this." "You're stressed about moving next week and doing it all on your own, just relax and watch the Bachelorette."
"It's not like you're an overweight person anyways, you can eat this way. A few extra pounds doesn't look bad on you."
None of these phrases make sense because in turn, I feel like crap the next day. I don't sleep well, wake up with the dryest mouth and feel so frustrated.
I'm trying to not let any negative thoughts enter my brain today, but what is the practical way to go about the next day after a binge?
Fast? Not eat again until I'm hungry? (that sounds obvious but I don't fore-see my hunger coming back anytime soon).
I'm tempted to turn back to the book, "Brain Over Binge" because the more I diagram my eating, the more I'm realizing I just have habits. It's a habit for me to go overboard.
So not listening to my urges in the first place is how I can get rid of my habits.
But in turn, I need to be fueling my body well and not depriving myself at all. In a sense, go back to the 3 meals/day. No snacks and keep the night-time eating gone for awhile as it's habitual for the urges to come mainly at that time.
I am strong and I can change. I choose to put healthy food that makes me feel good into my body. There is nothing I cannot change in my life.
I love my body and want it to feel and look its best.
I have so much goodness in my life. No negative thoughts can ever pull me down. I want to sweat and exercise because I love how it makes me feel, not due to punishment.
I am not powerless around food. I CAN have a bite of something and not go off the rails. I don't need food to unwind or relax.
Without letting the negative feed my thoughts, I'll still write down the thoughts that went through my head so as to try and change them.
"You eat so well all day, this feels good to let-loose."
"You can always make up for this tomorrow."
"You've blown it already, seriously what's another ice cream sandwich?"
"Now that you've gone this far, just eat everything in the cupboards and fast tomorrow."
"Sid is gone, the kids are in bed, you are lonely and you deserve this." "You're stressed about moving next week and doing it all on your own, just relax and watch the Bachelorette."
"It's not like you're an overweight person anyways, you can eat this way. A few extra pounds doesn't look bad on you."
None of these phrases make sense because in turn, I feel like crap the next day. I don't sleep well, wake up with the dryest mouth and feel so frustrated.
I'm trying to not let any negative thoughts enter my brain today, but what is the practical way to go about the next day after a binge?
Fast? Not eat again until I'm hungry? (that sounds obvious but I don't fore-see my hunger coming back anytime soon).
I'm tempted to turn back to the book, "Brain Over Binge" because the more I diagram my eating, the more I'm realizing I just have habits. It's a habit for me to go overboard.
So not listening to my urges in the first place is how I can get rid of my habits.
But in turn, I need to be fueling my body well and not depriving myself at all. In a sense, go back to the 3 meals/day. No snacks and keep the night-time eating gone for awhile as it's habitual for the urges to come mainly at that time.
I am strong and I can change. I choose to put healthy food that makes me feel good into my body. There is nothing I cannot change in my life.
I love my body and want it to feel and look its best.
I have so much goodness in my life. No negative thoughts can ever pull me down. I want to sweat and exercise because I love how it makes me feel, not due to punishment.
I am not powerless around food. I CAN have a bite of something and not go off the rails. I don't need food to unwind or relax.
Monday, May 18, 2015
my nutritional rules!
My nutrition rules! I follow these daily!
1) I focus my diet mainly on cruciferous vegetables and meat and fat.
2) I avoid grains, and if I do have them, it's at dinner.
3) I don't need treats every single day. I used to want to eat an entire chocolate bar each night, and then some. But I have control over sweets. If you give me a cookie, I can eat just one and enjoy it. It doesn't send me in a tailspin. I never struggle with desserts or treats. I have control and can eat just one, or a bite. I don't need them to make me feel good. Instead, I choose treats like a bowl of chocolate oats or I love a baked apple with peanut butter.
4) I exercise daily. That includes either HIIT, lifting heavy weights, or simply leisure walking. Always a leisure walk daily!
5) I get at least 7 hours of sleep nightly. This is huge for me in my daily life!
6) Treats are occasional and they better be WORTH IT. I won't just eat any old dessert!
1) I focus my diet mainly on cruciferous vegetables and meat and fat.
2) I avoid grains, and if I do have them, it's at dinner.
3) I don't need treats every single day. I used to want to eat an entire chocolate bar each night, and then some. But I have control over sweets. If you give me a cookie, I can eat just one and enjoy it. It doesn't send me in a tailspin. I never struggle with desserts or treats. I have control and can eat just one, or a bite. I don't need them to make me feel good. Instead, I choose treats like a bowl of chocolate oats or I love a baked apple with peanut butter.
4) I exercise daily. That includes either HIIT, lifting heavy weights, or simply leisure walking. Always a leisure walk daily!
5) I get at least 7 hours of sleep nightly. This is huge for me in my daily life!
6) Treats are occasional and they better be WORTH IT. I won't just eat any old dessert!
Sunday, May 17, 2015
Sunday Positivity
Yesterday was one of those rare days well I was "thrown off" eating, but I managed better than I had in the past, though I still got over-fed. I learned that it's better for me to not snack, but to manage meals. I felt no real hunger yesterday, but enjoyed the act of eating to eat. Like protein bars, pnut butter pretzels, and chocolate chip cookies.
None of it satisfied me. Perhaps that's the whole argument behind processed foods never satisfying. Though had I made myself even a baked apple or oatmeal, I'd feel much more satisfied, with less calories overall.
Proud of the fact that I navigated a baby shower with food. I wasn't hungry, but still managed to eat socially without losing fat loss goals. I had chicken salad and green salad. And didn't "throw it all out" and then dive into the cookies and such.
Last night, thrown off with an early dinner and lunch, I just dove into the cookies and such. It was fine, but "food without breaks". Looking back, I would have been better going on a walk, weeding, or just doing SOMEthing because I was using food as a distraction really from boredom. I was BORED and it felt good to much.
I chose that, and I'm not even looking back.
Today choose to eat when I'm hungry. To eat foods that make me feel good.
I am in control of my feelings and where my head goes.
I am strong, lean, and capable. I am smart and a good teacher to my kids and the youth.
I can have a small bowl of ice cream, enjoy it, and not let it pull me away from my fat-loss and moderation goals. I can have ice cream. I can have a brownie. I can stop at one. I can eat just one. I'm in control.
I love myself and am happy and responsible for every choice I make!
None of it satisfied me. Perhaps that's the whole argument behind processed foods never satisfying. Though had I made myself even a baked apple or oatmeal, I'd feel much more satisfied, with less calories overall.
Proud of the fact that I navigated a baby shower with food. I wasn't hungry, but still managed to eat socially without losing fat loss goals. I had chicken salad and green salad. And didn't "throw it all out" and then dive into the cookies and such.
Last night, thrown off with an early dinner and lunch, I just dove into the cookies and such. It was fine, but "food without breaks". Looking back, I would have been better going on a walk, weeding, or just doing SOMEthing because I was using food as a distraction really from boredom. I was BORED and it felt good to much.
I chose that, and I'm not even looking back.
Today choose to eat when I'm hungry. To eat foods that make me feel good.
I am in control of my feelings and where my head goes.
I am strong, lean, and capable. I am smart and a good teacher to my kids and the youth.
I can have a small bowl of ice cream, enjoy it, and not let it pull me away from my fat-loss and moderation goals. I can have ice cream. I can have a brownie. I can stop at one. I can eat just one. I'm in control.
I love myself and am happy and responsible for every choice I make!
Saturday, May 16, 2015
saturday is a special day
In the past on weekends, it's been easy to find reasons in my brain to not treat my body well...
The current negative tape:
"it's the weekend!", "sundays are for dessert", "you can always have monday to be on track", "you always lose it when your schedule is thrown off", "you binge after baby showers", "you can't handle a small dessert".
I am choosing to change the tape into positive thoughts!
"EVERY day, I choose to fuel my body with food that gives me energy, makes me feel good, and gets me toward my goals."
"I have control. Any food put in front of me, I can handle. I can taste, bite, or try anything and it won't derail me."
"I don't need food to relax me. I have habits that if I want, I can change easily. I'm never stuck."
"It doesn't EVERY have to be this way."
The current negative tape:
"it's the weekend!", "sundays are for dessert", "you can always have monday to be on track", "you always lose it when your schedule is thrown off", "you binge after baby showers", "you can't handle a small dessert".
I am choosing to change the tape into positive thoughts!
"EVERY day, I choose to fuel my body with food that gives me energy, makes me feel good, and gets me toward my goals."
"I have control. Any food put in front of me, I can handle. I can taste, bite, or try anything and it won't derail me."
"I don't need food to relax me. I have habits that if I want, I can change easily. I'm never stuck."
"It doesn't EVERY have to be this way."
Friday, May 15, 2015
a beautiful friday ahead
I am a mother with purpose who teaches her children the Gospel and how to follow Christ.
I am full of postivity and light and truth.
I light up when I see each of my children.
I make good choices around food that make my body stronger and leaner.
I am kind to myself and when I need to relax, I do. I will always be there for my body and mind.
MOST IMPACTFUL elements for ME. Identify for you 20% (or less). What are your big rocks? What are the 1-3 activities that set you up for success OR the 1-3 activities that set you up for failure?
1) exercise daily, lift heavy 2/3x/week
2) save carbs for the night
3) only eat when hungry and what i LOVE
I am full of postivity and light and truth.
I light up when I see each of my children.
I make good choices around food that make my body stronger and leaner.
I am kind to myself and when I need to relax, I do. I will always be there for my body and mind.
MOST IMPACTFUL elements for ME. Identify for you 20% (or less). What are your big rocks? What are the 1-3 activities that set you up for success OR the 1-3 activities that set you up for failure?
1) exercise daily, lift heavy 2/3x/week
2) save carbs for the night
3) only eat when hungry and what i LOVE
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